Wednesday, 10 June 2009
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Currently
Measure Of A Man
By Clay Aiken
Perfect Day
see relatedTo Test or Not to Test?
Now that my husband and I are beginning the third month of our pregnancy, we've been presented with the option of having genetic screening and diagnostic tests done. Specifically, the screening tests would determine if our child was "at risk" of having disorders such as Down Syndrome, Trisomy 18 and Spina Bifida. If we find that our child is at a high risk for these disorders, we would then have the option of performing diagnostic tests which would actually determine what disorder(s) our child has, if any.
The obvious first question that my husband and I are asking ourselves is, "What would the benefit be to having the screening and diagnostic tests done?" The first reason we came up with is to be prepared. If our child does have a disorder, I'd like to be mentally prepared and aware of the extra challenges we may face. The other reason, and the root of my conflicted thoughts right now, is so that we could have the option of aborting the pregnancy.
Let me take a moment right now to pause and say that I have never once wavered in my opinion that women should have the right to choose. That's not what I'm grappling with right now. What I'm struggling with is asking myself what I would choose.
I think, for me, what it comes down to is the quality of life my child would have. It's not about me, or my husband, or the extra time, effort, money that would be required for a child with special needs. To me, that is irrelevant. What I am focusing on is what type of life my child would lead were he/she born with any of these disorders. I know of many situations where children born with Down Syndrome go on to live happy and full lives. Of course, I know that circumstances vary case by case, but with Down Syndrome that's a risk I'm willing to take.
A disorder like Trisomy 18 is another story. The majority of children who are born with Trisomy 18 die within one year of being born. Do I really want to go through a full nine months of pregnancy, go through labor, and then live with a severely disabled child for one year before he or she is taken away from me? I'm not so sure that I do.
When it comes down to it, what I really want is to be informed and prepared, which is why my husband and I think we are definitely going to get the screening tests done. I pray to God every single day that the screening tests come back negative, eliminating the need to worry about diagnostic testing and decisions after that. All I can do right now is take care of myself and my baby as best I can, and pray for a healthy child.
Please note that this is not a blog intended to spark controversy about pro life and pro choice. If you have thoughts on that, or disagree with my opinions, please save it for a forum that's relevant. This is not the place. All I'm trying to do is wrap my mind around the concept of the toughest decisions I may ever have to make in my entire life.
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Comments (13)
First let me say that this is very touchy! I personally do NOT believe in the right to choose...I look at it from this point of view. these test or just that ... a test..I would carry the baby and follow healthy rules and care for the baby...
What will be will be!
I hope it is okay that I don't agree with ya!! Still love the PICTURE LOL
I personally would choose to get the screening tests done to be prepared if the child did turn out to have some kind of disorder. Though, it's up to you to decide what you'll do.
Good luck with everything.
i think your head and heart are in sync right now and i'm proud of you for being clear-minded about this. you've got my support, no matter what happens
I agree with the two above comments (not the first one; in fact, I feel she was out of place in stating her opinion like that): I feel that your head and heart are in the right place, and unified together, and I feel that your thoughts on the matter are both clear and logical. If it were my child, I would likely have the screenings done, to be prepared like you said. But I wouldn't know what I would want my partner to do if a test came back positive. You're right, tough decision. You have my support no matter your decision.
@Erin_Noelle_20 - Please don't take offense when I say that I really don't care what your opinion is on the whole abortion topic. That's not why I was blogging about this. The whole point of this entry was just to get out some things that have been churning in my mind for awhile now. Whether you agree with me or not doesn't matter. Ya know? This is one of those entries that was really just for me. But thanks for the compliment on the picture!
@storiesandsinker - Thanks! That's kind of the attitude I'm trying to have. One step at a time. No point in worrying about things that I don't even know yet. We'll just cross that bridge when we get there. And hopefully we'll never get there at all. LoL does that make any sense?
@dizzyinthesun - Thank you so much! It's a lot harder to be rational about things when I'm obviously so heavily invested in the outcome, but I'm doing my best.
@xthread - Thank you very much for your support. These are obviously very big and tough decisions that my husband and I are trying to work through one step at a time.
Hey, I think you are making the right choice! I hope that all the tests come back negative so that you won't have to make the choice. But if you have to, I know you will make the right choice for yourself and your husband.
It's definitely a hard decision to make, for many couples. We considered them, but decided against them, since neither one of us had any family history with those disorders. We both do, however, have strong family histories of heart defects, and we spent many hours at a special clinic to check that out. We are so blessed that Thomas is perfectly healthy! Like you and your husband, we wanted to know ahead of time if we were going to be challenged with a sick child.
I pray that your little one is healthy!
@bookmuncher - Thank you! I know our hearts are definitely in the right place, but it's SUCH a tough decision. Like you said though, hopefully the screening tests are negative and then that burden will be lifted.
@Amarisa - Thank you so much for your kind words and your parental input. It's always nice to hear what other couples did and didn't do, and what factors went into making those decisions.
I totally would've done the exact same thing just to be sure what kind of life that little one would lead me to. It's always better knowing then not knowing. Will you ask what the sex is when the time comes?
Good luck with everything going on - it seems as if you're thinking a lot about it (as the topic requires much thought) so that when you come to a decision, you will be confident with your own response, which is the best thing you can do.
@xxmaddychanxx - Yeah, we're planning on finding out the sex of the baby. I want to know what kind of clothes to buy and how to decorate, etc. etc.
@kimlxf - Thank you! I definitely think you're right; these are not decisions that are to be taken lightly and spontaneously decided on.
@LultimaNotte - I think that's my favorite part, buying baby stuff. I keep asking my friend when she's gonna have a baby just so I could buy baby stuff for her :D
It's a hard place to be, I don't deny that. My personal beliefs and decisions in such a circumstance differ, but all I will say is that what is important is that you have peace of mind about your choices and feel that you have done the right thing. So good luck with that! :)